IDENTITY CRISIS CH.14

Sam, Dean and Alex were all eating lunch together in her room. Dean was eating a sandwhich while sitting next to Alex's bed, and Sam was trying to feed Hana again. Alex was sitting up in her bed eating some soup.

"Dean, seriously. I can't stand it." Alex told Dean as he took a big bite out of his sandwich. "Could you please not eat that around me?"

"Seriously?" Dean asked in disbelief while chewing.

"Yes. You know about that nightmare I had."

Sam couldn't believe she was serious. "Alex, that over seven months ago."

"I know, but it still freaks me out, ok? So, could we just drop it?"

"No. Not this time." Sam said firmly which shocked Dean. "There's obviously something that you're hidding from us. Alex, what's going on with you?"

Alex looked down at her soup. "I've been having these nightmares."

"What are they about?" Dean asked getting concerned. It reminded him of when he first found out about Sam's visions. He looked at Sam and could tell that he was thinking the same thing.

"I..." Alex paused for a minute. She didn't want to say it, but now there was no turning back. "I see people die. Every night in my dreams."

"You see people die?" Sam asked worried that what happened to him was now going to happen to her.

"Not just see it, I can feel it. All the time. From head to toe and everything in between." Alex explained to them.

Dean had set his sandwich down on her dresser, and Sam was now sitting on her bed holding Hana.

"Did you have one last night?" Dean asked curiously.

"Yes." Alex spoke softly.

"Can you tell us what it was it about?"

Alex sat there thinking about it. The dream replayed in her mind on a loop, repeating over and over. She got lost in the memory, then felt somebody shake her arm.

"Alex?" Sam said as he watched Alex come back to reality. "You ok?" The only response he got, was Alex shaking her head.

The room went quiet again and Alex still wasn't talking. It wasn't like they could just drop it now. They had to know, wanted to know, what she dreamed about.

"They're just nightmares Alex. They're not real." Dean reasured her, hoping that she would talk.

As they looked at her, they saw that she was still shaking from being outside. Her face was pale and her eyes were dark. The bruise was more visible and so was the fear in her eyes. The fear in her eyes was familiar to Dean. He had seen it before on Sam. Back when Sam was having visions and waking up in the middle of the night, he had the same look in his eyes.

Sam had also realized this and came up with an idea. "Dean. Why don't you take a walk with Hana?" Sam suggested.

Dean took Hana from Sam and held her against his shoulder. "Ok. Don't have too much fun while I'm gone."

After Dean walked out of the room, Sam turned to Alex.

"Why'd you make him leave?"

Sam sighed, looking away from Alex. "Because I didn't want him to hear what I'm about to tell you."

Alex set her soup dish on the nightstand and got ready to listen to what Sam had to say.

"Look, I know what you're going through is rough, but-"

"How could you even know?" Alex asked skeptically.

"Because I saw people die in my dreams too." Sam could tell that Alex still didn't believe that he could relate to her. "They were all murdered by something supernatural. I saw them screaming and suffering. I'd wake up at odd hours of the night covered in sweat. I'd have these terrible headaches..."

"And you can't go back to sleep, because you're afraid it will happen again." Alex finished. "You really do know."

"Yeah." Sam paused as the feeling came back to him. "I remember every time I woke up it would freak Dean out. He would get worried and I told him I was fine, just like what you're doing." Sam turns to face Alex. "But I wasn't. And I know you aren't either."

Alex nodded her head and looked down at her hands. "Do you...still get them? The nightmares?" She looked up at him, waiting for an answer.

"No." Sam said knowing that right now Alex would start to feel alone.

"How did you handle them?"

"Dean pushed me to tell him about them."

"Sounds familiar."

Sam smiled at Alex's comment. "Turns out the nightmares were visions, and they started happening during the day. We used them to save people." Sam paused for a minute. "I used them to save you, Alex. For some reason that was the only vision that I got since..." Sam paused as Alex waited patiently. "Since the yellow eyed demon died."

"When did this demon die?"

"About a couple of months before we met you. Which is why I don't understand how I had that vision of you." They both sat there silently taking it all in. "So, now that I told you all about my nightmares, can you tell me about yours?"

"Not yet. I'll wait until Dean comes back, I want him to hear about this too. He deserves to know."

Sam and Alex continued to talk about the demon and what it did to their family, and they both finished off their meals. The conversation made Alex feel more at ease even though it was a depressing topic. But knowing that somebody else went through as many losses as she had, comforted Alex. She now knew that somebody could relate to her and understand what she was going through.

As Sam was wondering about the last vision, Dean came back into the room with Hana sleeping in his arms. He lowered her into the crib and then sat back down in the same chair as before.

"So, did I miss anything?" Dean asked while resting his feet on her bed.

"No. She was waiting for you to come back, so she can tell us about her dream."

"Well I'm ready whenever you are." Dean said planting his feet back on the ground and leaning forward in his chair with his hands clasped together, ready to listen.

Alex took a deep breath, then explained her nightmare. "I dreamt that I was in a car parked in the middle of the woods. It caught on fire and I could feel the heat all around me. It was like being inside of an oven. I tried to get out, but the doors were locked. Panic and fear built up, as beads of sweat were dripping down my face. My hands got burned on the door handle, then the fire started to burn away at my clothes. And pretty soon I could feel, not only heat, but the seering pain of my flesh being burned. Then I finally suffocated to death, from lack of oxygen and woke up." Alex avoided looking at them, then said, "I know it sounds quick, but there's really no way to put in words how long and painful it really was."

"This happens to you every night?" Dean asked with shock.

"Yes. Sometimes more then once and never the same way twice."

"And you can feel it all the time?"

"It gets worse and worse. And each time it gets more vivid and painful. I'm not sure how to describe it. I don't know why, but I'm not in my body, but in somebody elses. Its like I experience their deaths for them, just so they don't feel any pain."

"Why didn't you tell us about this sooner?" Dean asked thinking that he might have been able to save these people.

"Because I thought it was just a reaction to all of those deaths. Being in that barn and seeing people that I cared about dead." Alex still wasn't able to keep eye contact with either of her cousins. "But I'm not so sure any more." She looked up at Sam and Dean and saw pity in their eyes. "And I didn't want you to look at me like that."

"Wait a minute." Dean was now starting to realize why Alex was so upset. "When you dreamt that I ate you...you could feel it, couldn't you?"

Alex looked down again and a few more tears rolled down her face. "I know it's dumb, because there's no way it could ever happen, but that dream felt so real. Everytime I see you bite down, I cringe in pain at the memory."

"He didn't swallow you, did he?" Sam asked feeling sympathy for her.

"Not whole." Alex answered implying what really happened.

Dean was in shock by Alex's statement. "You mean, you could feel me...?" He didn't want to say the words and was thankful that Alex understood him.

She slowly nodded her head crying. "Yes."

"Alex, I never would have teased you about it if I had known."

"I know, but I was afraid to tell you. I was afraid that you would get angry, which would cause another nightmare. So, by ignoring it and trying to push the memory away, I was hoping that I could stop it. You know, just try to prevent one more nightmare from happening?"

"Does Kyle know about these nightmares?" Sam asked.

"No...Well yes, but not in detail." Alex explained.

"I think you should tell him. He should know about this, Alex." Sam told Alex, but she stayed silent.

"Alex? What is it?" Dean asked concerned.

Alex started to cry again with a tear drop landing in her soup. "Why is this happening to me?"

Sam and Dean exchanged looks and didn't know what to say.